exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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