I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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