The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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