Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
