dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
