New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
