On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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