Screwed.edu
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did you pee in the oven last night??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
