Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
