what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she peed on how many people?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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