He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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