Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
