idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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