We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
