Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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