She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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