O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
