): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
