i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
