It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
