Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
