Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
