Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
