i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
