3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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