You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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