There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize