frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
