Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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