Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
