Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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