Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
