I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
