I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
