...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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