just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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