We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
