she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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