I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize