Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
