I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
