Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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