please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
