My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
