i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
