he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize