Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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