we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
