Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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