He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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