dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
