I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
