On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
