I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
