This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
