Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
