Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
