Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
