i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
