I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
