I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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