I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And then my night got REAL pukey
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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